Land Astronaut

So, like, where ARE the space people?

I have a problem with men, but just EARTH men. Not that I have anything against the opposite sex, its just they’re the only one we have. So, after spending my first two years of college watching Star Trek reruns and falling head over heels for Mr. Spock, I just want to know where are the space people?


I’m into outer space which is sort of why I can’t hold down a job. In fact, I thought I’d be living just like Jane Jetson by now, but NOT with that hairdo. And when I was a kid, I fell in love with Mr. Spock on Star Trek. I thought a Vulcan would be the perfect mate. That’s before I realized that things on TV were not real. I grew up watching TV and thought my family was just like families on TV…

“They’re krazy and they’re kookie, they’re altogether dda dda dum..the Addmms family…dda duh dumb..”

So, where ARE the Space People? I’ve been waiting to get lost in space, to go to the final frontier, to get abducted by aliens, but nothing. So, where are they? I thought, by now, space people would have shown up, taken over, and transported us to space colonies - where, of course, I would be living just like the Jetsons.

It’s hard being a land astronaut. Born to the generation that tried to leave the planet WITHOUT benefit of NASA, there is this disappointment that we still have no robots.

And, no space car? No, No,not the hybrids, the ones without tires. I’m so sick of tires, And roads. Land astronauts should be living in homes like the Chemosphere in the Hollywood Hills, managing their clones, instead of
making a living off porn websites, er, I mean investments.

And, instead of the usual transportation, we just ‘jet’ or 'beam' ourselves wherever.


Instead I take my clunker of an SUV to the gas station where I put in imaginary fuel that costs almost $4 dollars a gallon.