Xmas Frenzy

I'm one of those people who prefers the Bermuda Triangle to Christmas and here's why:

I had a succession of retail jobs in high school and college, where looped Christmas music drummed into my brain - a monotonous cadence, triggering subsequent psychotic episodes then and every December since. 

 cue audio:

...Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing Ring ting tingle-ing too Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling "You Hoo"
Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you 

Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go ...

Another reason I don't like Christmas is THE DEAD.

Dead people seem to pop up at Christmas as 'we gotta go to the cemetary and put a grave cover on them..."  A grave cover is not cheap. I had a  happy childhood and enjoyed Christmas up until people started up and dying around the holidays, when a worldwide phenomenon of depression takes hold, and people decide to check out. And, then I had to engage in keeping them in their graves by 'covering' them with expensive evergreen blankets.

I saw people go into Christmas Frenzy where they shopped till they dropped, spent money they did not have, and and decked and decorated the halls with unpaid child labor.  I still hate gift wrapping.

Forced Socializing - Who doesn't love a christmas party with coworkers you can't stand?

My favorite? A endless boat ride around the harbor, a three hour tour, where the successive turns and swings made me seasick.  

Begging - Everybody comes out of the woodwork trying to separate you from your cash. 

I see posters for food banks and wonder where I can get on line. 

Jesus - There is a timeline that accurately states Jesus was born in and around April 6th.

Do you KNOW how many times they've tampered with the calendar? 

Jesus Redux - Don't pretend you celebrate Christmas for him and make your one visit to Church to atone for your sins. It doesn't work that way. 

Okay, forgive yourself, you heathen 

Jews - Jesus was Jewish, so why aren't we?  And, Jews don't go into Christmas Frenzy! They go to the movies!

Entrepreneurial spirit - The best way to make money is to have a Christmas Tree farm, get the farm deduction, and work three weeks out of the year. And, think of the secondary market in grave covers.

Santa - St. Nick, Santa Claus, whoever is a pagan god and gives you insight into greed and avarice, but its a lovely German myth. Ho Ho Ho...but one thing about this myth is: 

TOYS OR ELSE!  when small children, some of which you never even met, demand you buy them toys and I'm sorry, but toys are not cheap.  Try to find a 'toy' for under $40 these days.

Drinking - no state secret that those depressed people are three sheets to the wind this time of the year. People buy booze, you have to buy booze, everybody is drinking, and if they're not, they are CRABBY. 

And, the number one sign of Christmas Frenzy?

People are running away from home...so stay off the roads and away from the airports as many of them have been drinking!

Just hear those sleigh bells jingle-ing Ring ting tingle-ing too Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling "You Hoo"
Come on, it's lovely weather  For a sleigh ride together with you Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go merry xmas!